Finding Our Way Back to Patience, Tolerance and Loving Kindness (and why tolerance is the real virtue) - Part 2

"Patience is a virtue."

We’ve all heard it. We picture it as the ability to wait calmly, seemingly unaffected by external chaos, just being. Sounds nice, right? But is merely waiting around what actually makes someone morally "excellent"?

To me, the real virtue isn't patience. It’s tolerance.

Every day, we are faced with situations we simply dislike. Many of you know that I work in an environmental laboratory. In this world, there are a lot of moving parts: tight deadlines, strict sample holding times, and a massive variety of personalities and work ethics to navigate.

Throughout any given workday, I am handed endless opportunities to practice neutrality, acceptance, and non-reactivity. And I've realized that where "patience" is supposedly required, the real virtue is actually the ability to move within these complexities while accepting responsibility for your own actions and your own peace of mind.

That isn't just waiting. That is tolerance.

The Shift from "Putting Up With" to "Unaffected By"

There is a massive difference between “I have to put up with this” and “I am unaffected by this.”

Patanjali gives us a framework for this in Yoga Sutra 1.33 with the concept of Upeksha—a word derived from roots that mean "to look over" or "to view from above."

Upeksha is detachment, non-reaction, and non-judgment. It’s the profound realization that you don’t have to participate in every argument you’re invited to.

When we practice this, we choose to approach difficult circumstances with equanimity. We aren’t passively, patiently waiting for a bad situation to just go away. Instead, we are actively choosing steadiness within the discomfort.

It's Not Resignation—It's Emotional Intelligence

While this level of neutrality might feel like resignation at times, it’s actually high-level emotional intelligence. When you practice Upeksha, you remove the fuel. An emotionally charged spark has nothing to ignite and set ablaze.

This is the neutrality we should actually be striving for.

Because let's face it—patience is just biding time. Tolerance is mastering your peace. And who knows? Maybe if he practiced a little Upeksha, Axl Rose could finally learn to tolerate being stuck in the crowd. 🙃

Keep Seeking Up,

Amy